Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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