But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
