Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
