she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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