The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
