Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
