guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
