No stitches, just platelets and will power
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
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