Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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