and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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