I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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