I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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