If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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