Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Shitshow foam night was such a success
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
this hospital has no fireball
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
