you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
