so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Randomize
