I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize