I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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