My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
