it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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