My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
