You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
