my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
