Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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