Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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