do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
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small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
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Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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