She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
