how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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