He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
