i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
