It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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