whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
