I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
