Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Blood and glitter go together right?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize