I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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