once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
