i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
