I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize
