Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize