Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
