my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
lol hangovers are for mortals.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
