hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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