i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize