been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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