miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
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Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
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