I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
