it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
