that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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