She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
