Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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