Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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