so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
