So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
